Mortality?

I have attended too many funerals lately. Last June my brother-in-law passed away shortly before I retired, in January my mother-in-law passed away, and a few days ago I attended a memorial service for a brother of one of our friends, who passed away suddenly. One thing this has done is made me reflect more on my own mortality. When you are young, you assume you are going to live forever, or at least for such a long time that you really don't think about it, which is a good thing. However, now I realize that I am only a few years younger than the age my father was when he died, and even if I live an average life of say 75 years, that is not that far away.


Last year we broke down and bought a big screen HD TV and a new laptop. Last week we got a new hardwood floor in our kitchen and family room. We then bought a new table and chair set for the kitchen. I am quite used to watching the big TV and I cannot say I dwell too much on how the quality of my TV watching has improved. I do enjoy having a laptop I can move around the house and even take on vacation, but now we have issues with sharing the use of it. The new floor was never something very important to me, although I do appreciate that we needed to replace the worn rug and dull lino. So, the fact is that all these things, while enjoyable, do not make me any happier. I do not sleep any better knowing I have these things, and they become ordinary very, very quickly.


Last year my mother needed to leave her apartment and move into an assisted-living facility. As a family we needed to distribute or dispose of most of her possessions. In the past few months I have watched as the same process happened with my in-laws. What really struck me is how many of a person's possessions that they hold dear become things no one wants and end up being thrown away or donated to thrift stores. Beautiful, well kept furniture and items which were rarely ever used because they were too nice, are now items the estate needs to get rid of because they are outdated. Not only can you not take your possessions with you, but much of it is not even valued by you offspring later.


It made me think of how sad it is for people who put so much effort and importance in accumulating things. These people never get to a point where they say, OK, I now have all that I need and can stop buying. None of it brings any lasting joy or peace.


I really enjoy traveling, and hope to do as much as I can while I am healthy. However, we all know that a day or two after you return from a trip, it feels like you were never gone. Travel does not give lasting joy either. I recently went on a two month camping trip with a group of people, include family members. I loved seeing New Orleans, south Texas, Utah, etc. but my fondest memories are of the friendships we made, sitting around after a day of travel to spend time together as a group, and sharing experiences.


Ultimately, what lasts longer than any material items is relationships. I guess I will still give in to buying "things" that my spouse wants, but I do not expect to get any long-term pleasure from them. Instead, I want to cherish the time spent with my spouse and children, and getting together with friends and family. It is easy to cherish your family because you love them, but I need to remind myself to never under-value the importance of friends and extended family. If these relationships are healthy, your chances of finding your own happiness go up exponentially.


I have also witnessed several occasions where people struggled with the death of a loved one without wanting to acknowledge God. I cannot judge how they deal with grief in this situation, but for me, it always seems empty. I cannot accept that people live a few years on this earth and then die and are no more. We know that we have both a physical body and a spiritual self, and the death of one does not mean the death of the other. There is far too much evidence of a God in the world around us, and in our own experiences if we are honest with ourselves and seek to find God. I do not want a life that does not include a God, because then everything, not only possessions, are meaningless. And the knowledge of a loving God who promises eternal life to those who accept Him is what provides the greatest and truest joy, and peace. That gives life meaning, and also enhances all the other relationships in my life.

So, now those new iPhones that allow you access email at all times seem pretty cool. I can't wait for our upcoming trip to Italy and Holland and being able to share part of this with our children. But iPhone 4 only leads to iPhone 5, 4-bladed razors will give way to 5-bladed razors and the excitement of the upcoming trip will fade away quickly within a few days of our return. Feeling comfortable in your spirituality, relationship with God and people in your life lasts an eternity. And, hopefully, somewhere along the way, we get a few Grey Cups and Stanley Cups as well.

Ground Hog Day

Today is February 2, 2011, Groundhog Day. A snow storm described as of historical intensity is sweeping across the US Midwest and up to the northern states, Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes. Any groundhog who sticks its neck out of it burrow today must be clinically insane and any reaction to its shadow can not be relied upon. I drove to the gym this morning and saw my shadow, meaning I have 4 more months of house cleaning before I can go to Italy.

As I was cleaning our ensuite it struck me, OK, it reminded me once again, of how different house rules are for husbands and wives. It was not that long ago that my wife got the crazy idea that hanging here necklaces on the wall of our bedroom would be decorative. I did not quite get it, but thought I should join in as well. Being more aware, and using the resources available rather than banging more holes in the wall, I proceeded to decorate the ceiling fan with my neck ties. They gave our room a sense of being an exotic cave, with multi-coloured stalactites hanging down. All without the use of hallucinatory drugs. Needless to say, my decorations did not even see one sunset, while her necklaces continue to hang in open defiance.

As I tried to see the countertop by removing a tray full of tubes of skin creams, face coverups, lip glosses, medicating creams, etc., and took the many large bottles of glaxocream and moisturizers, as well my one toothbrush and soap, I wondered what would happen if things were reversed. What if all her creams and lotions were in a drawer and I put all my toiletries on display on the counter. Besides having a very clear counter, I think it would not take long before she complained about not putting my stuff away. As I tripped over her slippers in the middle of the bedroom to look at her chest of drawers, (that's furniture, not some physical deformity), I decided to pass on polishing the top of it. Besides the usual photo frames, jewelry box, gum containers, perfume bottles, rock, bag with a button in it and necklaces that did not make it into the box or onto the wall, there was now a bulky sweater, a heap of sympathy cards from her mother's recent passing, extra funeral papers, and other assorted papers/receipts. Would I be able to get away with leaving that may things on my dresser. I think not!

There really is no equality in the home. No wonder groundhogs that see their shadow hibernate when they see their shadow. If they get up to early, they'll be busy longer cleaning up after themselves and their female hogs. Better to go back to sleep and hope she cleans up before you wake up.