Healthy Living
By Gerry Meyer
2005
It seems that we are bombarded daily with admonitions on how we ought to live, what we ought to eat or not eat, what we can eat today that was bad for us yesterday, while climatic changes, which have happened since creation, are no longer natural but completely due to our destroying the ozone layer, etc. etc. etc.
Did you ever consider what your life might look like if you heeded all these warnings seriously. I’m not suggesting any of these things are bad, but when taken all together, how would my typical day look?
Let’s see:
5:00AM Jump out of bed refreshed from a good night’s sleep and hit the shower with the trickle of water from the water-saving shower head. Turn water off while lathering and washing hair.
5:15AM Sit down to a bowl of bran mush in skimmed milk, and of course a piece of fruit. Eat slowly, counting the number of times I chew so that the food digests properly. Brush teeth.
5:30AM Spend the next 45 minutes in a time of devotions and prayer. Drink a full glass of water during this time.
6:15AM After slipping on my running shoes, specially designed for my feet and workout style, jump on my bike and peddle to the local gym for a good, 45 minute workout, followed by a peddle home again. Drink a glass of water.
7:15AM Take another shower and, how about a piece of fruit and glass of orange juice? Thoroughly rinse mouth of any possible sugary particles. Brush teeth if time permits. Go to the bathroom for the second of many visits due to the volume of water being consumed.
7: 40AM Put on my orthopaedic shoes and walk to the train station for my public transit commute to downtown Vancouver. Before leaving, check to see if the sun will be shining, so that I can put sun screen in my bag and take a hat along.
7:50AM Board West Coast Express, and say a prayer of gratitude to the taxpayers who help fund this. Spend the next 50 minutes either evangelizing the person next to me, or, if they close their eyes to sleep, which is likely, stimulate my brain cells by doing crossword puzzles.
8:40AM Disembark train and resist the temptation to take the skytrain to the office, walk instead.
8:55AM Arrive at the office and prepare to start work at 9:00AM, at my ergonomically set up work station, but not before going through a mental battle about whether coffee is really good or bad for me and whether it really would make me more alert at this time. Have a glass of water instead.
10:15AM Coffee break. Time for a nice glass of V-8 juice and carrot sticks.
12:30PM Salad break! Include some raw veggies and fluorinated water. Brush teeth. Go for a short walk downtown, remembering to don a mask first, to avoid the car fumes.
1:00PM Back to work.
2:00PM Take a short, 10 minute nap just to see if anyone notices.
2:30PM Call up a taxpayer and make some jokes about their present tax situation, since laughter is very healthy for body and soul.
3:00PM Time for indulgence. Eat a small piece of dark chocolate, but not before explaining to everyone within listening range that you are giving in to temptation even though you shouldn’t, and estimate how many calories you are eating and how long a workout will be necessary to offset it. This ensures that this will not give me too much pleasure. Make sure to get rid of the decadent taste of the chocolate with one or two glasses of water.
5:30PM Having not been able to start work until 9AM because of my schedule, I have special permission to work beyond normal office lockup time of 5PM.
5:45PM Having taken all the security measures necessary to protect confidential taxpayer information, and protect valuable government assets like laptops and 20 year old calculators, and having spent 10 minutes watching my computer shut down due to all the security measures, its time to go home to my family!
6:00PM Having walked to the train station, wait for train to leave at 6:20.
6:20PM Train leaves station for the 50 minute ride home.
7:20PM Walk through the front door at home, and greet family with open arms. Take a quick inventory of spouse to ensure hair hasn’t been cut or dyed, or that she isn’t wearing any new clothing items. If so, state how good it looks.
7:30PM Apologize to family for raising your voice. Explain that I haven’t had coffee all day and beg their forgiveness.
7:35PM Sit down to eat vegetarian leftovers from supper, complimenting spouse on the food. Express gratitude that raw veggies can stay so fresh tasting, and that one can never get tired of salad. In addition to a glass of water or milk, enjoy a glass of Chilean red wine. Be sure to end meal by brushing teeth and spend a good 10 minutes flossing.
8:00PM Do dishes and other household chores.
8:20PM Family quality time. Spend time talking to family members individually, giving them several hugs, stating at least twice that I love them. Make sure to tell a few jokes (proper ones) as well, because laughter is very good.
8:50PM Prepare for bed. Brush and floss teeth. Confess to spouse that I had a piece of chocolate today. Give all family members a hug and make sure no one is mad at me anymore.
9:00PM Start my 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
About Me
- G Man
- I am a Christian who enjoys exploring God's wonderful creation! I am always on the lookout for new birds or animals to photograph.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Customs and Rituals
By Gerry Meyer
October 1999
I believe that as a resident of a multi-cultural society, it is important for us to get out and expose ourselves to other cultures and rituals in order to broaden our own horizons. Vacations are a perfect opportunity to do this, and this was the main focus of this year’s vacation.
Our adventure started close to home, in a resort on the banks of Shuswap Lake. This particular area had a pristine setting, and best of all, is almost mosquito free, except in years following a wet spring and soggy summer. This was a nostalgic trip back in time. In a day and age when many of our homes have bathrooms, “powder rooms”, ensuites, kid’s bathrooms and guest washrooms, we have lost the ritual of sharing a single bathroom with eight people, six of which are of the female persuasion. Of course, today we have the benefit of electronic day timers for scheduling everyone’s various washroom activities, so it is not quite the same as it used to be. The ol,d basic principle however remains the same: Make sure you’re the first one in and wear ear plugs so you are not distracted by the moaning on the other side of the door or the screams of the person that has the room after you..
We tried to observe many of the local customs, which can keep you busy. Each day started bright and early, (early being any time after the sun is well up in the sky), by washing yourself thoroughly and then putting on swim wear so that the maximum area of skin is exposed. You then take your morning cup of coffee and go outside to feed the skeeters. Washing is very important, since mosquitoes are very health conscious and prefer clean skin and the fragrance of deodorant.
This is followed by a thorough bath in insect repellant. Local stores advertised something called swimmer’s itch which we were not too familiar with. We found however that the rituals that accompany this really add to your swimming experience. First, you douse yourself with sun tan lotion. Unfortunately, this reduces the pleasant odor of the insect repellant. You then cover yourself in baby oil, (back to nostalgia). After swimming, you take a nice, very cold shower right on the beach, towel yourself down hard so that your skin appears sunburnt, and then make a mad dash to the cottage and stand in line for your turn at the proper shower. I don’t think the shower on the beach really helps, but is a tradition which provides pleasure to other sunbathers who enjoy watching you jump around while trying to shower and avoid the cold water all at the same time.
While this is all very well, we really did not know much more about the “itch”, so my wife and daughter, in the interest of higher learning, baited themselves on air mattresses, thereby falling easy prey for the little parasites. The effect was something which reminded me of measles although with an added measure of complaining. To our relief, we learned that the itch does not last seven years but only several days and its something you can show off to your friends long after your suntan has faded.
After a laundry break at home, our vacation moved to international frontiers. We loaded up our camper van and headed to a rendezvous with friends at Deception Pass in Washington, USA. While our van is equipped for electricity and water, we found by the second night that we really didn’t need this. There was plenty of water all around us, and lightning bolts kept our van well lit most of the night. My 13-year-old daughter and her friend, who were sleeping in the tent outside had a sudden urge to bond, and we enjoyed a sleepless night together.
The next morning we discovered that some people just don’t appreciate the great outdoors. One couple we knew packed up their tent and went home. They just couldn’t enjoy the serenity of a babbling brook. This seemed odd. I thought they really enjoyed it. Why else would they put their tent right on top of it?
Our fickle city dwellers didn’t know that they would miss what appears to be a local celebration know as the Sleeping Bag Festival. This is a popular event which seemed to attract a lot of first time tenters. Some of these rookies must have left their camping manuals at home. We saw many campsites where campers had unwittingly pitched their tents right on top of their vehicles, often upside down. The festival itself involves tenters displaying their sleeping bags by hanging them from trees, over picnic tables or draped over their cars. This added a colourful display to an otherwise dull day. It seemed that those in motorhomes do not participate.
Our international appetite was whetted, and we travelled on to Leavenworth, a Bavarian-styled village in the east Cascade Mountains of Washington. Here, the local custom is for the men to sit on benches and pretend to be bored while their wives dart in and out of shops. Each one lives in fear of hearing their wife say to them, “Honey, come in hear for a second. I want to show you something.” It was particularly satisfying to be able to buy Christmas ornaments several weeks before Costco puts on their Christmas display. And with a $1.53 exchange rate for Canadian dollars, you can pick up some real treasures!
One custom we have when we are on holidays is to go out for a nice dinner one night. We carefully scoured the town for a nice restaurant which would offer a variety of Bavarian dishes and ambience. We chose one which offered six different Bavarian dishes. We sat down and started in on our large keg of German beer and carefully inspected the menu. It would be good to eat something other than ash laden Bavarian smokies. When the time came to order, we learned that all of the Bavarian dishes, except the sausages and smokies were out of stock and had been for three days. No one had thought to note this on the menu displayed outside or mention it when we ordered our drinks. Being a Revenue Canada employee, whose sole purpose in life is to please others, I left this matter to my wife. Despite her great disappointment, she remained very calm and composed. After a brief discussion on body parts and the owner’s Darwinian heritage, we placed our less than exotic order. My daughter was unperturbed by all this. They did have her German dish, a meat and bun item which I believe was named after the residents of Hamburg. We enjoyed a quiet meal without the constant interruptions of pushy waitresses. When we received our bill without even an offer of coffee or desert, I thought perhaps that the waitress was repulsed by my wife’s bulging eyes and grotesquely protruding neck muscles, but then I realized they were probably out of coffee too.
This year’s trip was a great cultural experience. The only thing that confused me was the camping practices in Leavenworth. After setting up the girl’s tent in the 30 degree heat, we noticed a distinct difference between our setup and other tents. Theirs was missing the bright blue or orange tarp which covered our campsite. Seems too that people here don’t celebrate the Sleeping Bag Festival. I guess the sunshine would dry the bags out much too fast and cause the colours to fade.
By Gerry Meyer
October 1999
I believe that as a resident of a multi-cultural society, it is important for us to get out and expose ourselves to other cultures and rituals in order to broaden our own horizons. Vacations are a perfect opportunity to do this, and this was the main focus of this year’s vacation.
Our adventure started close to home, in a resort on the banks of Shuswap Lake. This particular area had a pristine setting, and best of all, is almost mosquito free, except in years following a wet spring and soggy summer. This was a nostalgic trip back in time. In a day and age when many of our homes have bathrooms, “powder rooms”, ensuites, kid’s bathrooms and guest washrooms, we have lost the ritual of sharing a single bathroom with eight people, six of which are of the female persuasion. Of course, today we have the benefit of electronic day timers for scheduling everyone’s various washroom activities, so it is not quite the same as it used to be. The ol,d basic principle however remains the same: Make sure you’re the first one in and wear ear plugs so you are not distracted by the moaning on the other side of the door or the screams of the person that has the room after you..
We tried to observe many of the local customs, which can keep you busy. Each day started bright and early, (early being any time after the sun is well up in the sky), by washing yourself thoroughly and then putting on swim wear so that the maximum area of skin is exposed. You then take your morning cup of coffee and go outside to feed the skeeters. Washing is very important, since mosquitoes are very health conscious and prefer clean skin and the fragrance of deodorant.
This is followed by a thorough bath in insect repellant. Local stores advertised something called swimmer’s itch which we were not too familiar with. We found however that the rituals that accompany this really add to your swimming experience. First, you douse yourself with sun tan lotion. Unfortunately, this reduces the pleasant odor of the insect repellant. You then cover yourself in baby oil, (back to nostalgia). After swimming, you take a nice, very cold shower right on the beach, towel yourself down hard so that your skin appears sunburnt, and then make a mad dash to the cottage and stand in line for your turn at the proper shower. I don’t think the shower on the beach really helps, but is a tradition which provides pleasure to other sunbathers who enjoy watching you jump around while trying to shower and avoid the cold water all at the same time.
While this is all very well, we really did not know much more about the “itch”, so my wife and daughter, in the interest of higher learning, baited themselves on air mattresses, thereby falling easy prey for the little parasites. The effect was something which reminded me of measles although with an added measure of complaining. To our relief, we learned that the itch does not last seven years but only several days and its something you can show off to your friends long after your suntan has faded.
After a laundry break at home, our vacation moved to international frontiers. We loaded up our camper van and headed to a rendezvous with friends at Deception Pass in Washington, USA. While our van is equipped for electricity and water, we found by the second night that we really didn’t need this. There was plenty of water all around us, and lightning bolts kept our van well lit most of the night. My 13-year-old daughter and her friend, who were sleeping in the tent outside had a sudden urge to bond, and we enjoyed a sleepless night together.
The next morning we discovered that some people just don’t appreciate the great outdoors. One couple we knew packed up their tent and went home. They just couldn’t enjoy the serenity of a babbling brook. This seemed odd. I thought they really enjoyed it. Why else would they put their tent right on top of it?
Our fickle city dwellers didn’t know that they would miss what appears to be a local celebration know as the Sleeping Bag Festival. This is a popular event which seemed to attract a lot of first time tenters. Some of these rookies must have left their camping manuals at home. We saw many campsites where campers had unwittingly pitched their tents right on top of their vehicles, often upside down. The festival itself involves tenters displaying their sleeping bags by hanging them from trees, over picnic tables or draped over their cars. This added a colourful display to an otherwise dull day. It seemed that those in motorhomes do not participate.
Our international appetite was whetted, and we travelled on to Leavenworth, a Bavarian-styled village in the east Cascade Mountains of Washington. Here, the local custom is for the men to sit on benches and pretend to be bored while their wives dart in and out of shops. Each one lives in fear of hearing their wife say to them, “Honey, come in hear for a second. I want to show you something.” It was particularly satisfying to be able to buy Christmas ornaments several weeks before Costco puts on their Christmas display. And with a $1.53 exchange rate for Canadian dollars, you can pick up some real treasures!
One custom we have when we are on holidays is to go out for a nice dinner one night. We carefully scoured the town for a nice restaurant which would offer a variety of Bavarian dishes and ambience. We chose one which offered six different Bavarian dishes. We sat down and started in on our large keg of German beer and carefully inspected the menu. It would be good to eat something other than ash laden Bavarian smokies. When the time came to order, we learned that all of the Bavarian dishes, except the sausages and smokies were out of stock and had been for three days. No one had thought to note this on the menu displayed outside or mention it when we ordered our drinks. Being a Revenue Canada employee, whose sole purpose in life is to please others, I left this matter to my wife. Despite her great disappointment, she remained very calm and composed. After a brief discussion on body parts and the owner’s Darwinian heritage, we placed our less than exotic order. My daughter was unperturbed by all this. They did have her German dish, a meat and bun item which I believe was named after the residents of Hamburg. We enjoyed a quiet meal without the constant interruptions of pushy waitresses. When we received our bill without even an offer of coffee or desert, I thought perhaps that the waitress was repulsed by my wife’s bulging eyes and grotesquely protruding neck muscles, but then I realized they were probably out of coffee too.
This year’s trip was a great cultural experience. The only thing that confused me was the camping practices in Leavenworth. After setting up the girl’s tent in the 30 degree heat, we noticed a distinct difference between our setup and other tents. Theirs was missing the bright blue or orange tarp which covered our campsite. Seems too that people here don’t celebrate the Sleeping Bag Festival. I guess the sunshine would dry the bags out much too fast and cause the colours to fade.
Vacationing – The Sequel
By Gerry Meyer
October 1997
Due to the overwhelming response I received to my article last year (1996) about our vacation, I decided to listen to both people and write about this year’s trip.
PLANNING
As an accountant, I think that one of the most important things, and often the most enjoyable aspect of a vacation trip is the planning, especially when it involves multiple destinations. In fact, my wife, Joanie says that I plan our travels right down to where we will stop for coffee and where we will stop for bathroom breaks. This of course is a gross exaggeration. I never plan for bathroom breaks! Unfortunately, they happen, and challenge a tight schedule. I find the most effective means of dealing with them is to ignore the first request to find a bathroom. If the requests continue, I wait until the offending party sits with her legs tightly crossed and her eyes begin to bug. I then immediately find a gas station 40 kilometres down the road. I find this reduces the frequency of these requests, and significantly shortens the stop, since the person now runs rather than walks to the bathroom. Of course, if I have had one too many coffees with my breakfast, I try to respond immediately to the first request for a pit stop.
As I said, planning a trip can be quite enjoyable, and this year was a bonus. Last year we decided that this year we would go to Banff and Jasper. Our friends, the Punnetts, (not their real names because I don’t wan to use the Norgrens’ actual name), asked to go along. We actually have other friends too, who we’ll call the Norgrens. They decided that they would be going there as well.
Early this year, I began planning the trip. Once this was done, the Punnetts found that they had a family wedding on the day we were to leave so they would have to meet us after a few days. This required re-working the plans, finding rendezvous places, etc.
Once the new plans were in place, the Norgrens discovered that they could not rent a trailer for the same time period and would be going on their own. No problem, just a few changes were necessary, maybe eliminate a coffee stop here or there.
As the time approached, the Punnetts decided they would not be coming either. We were now out of friends and this required major work, since the Punnetts drink a lot of water and would need to stop more frequently than I would normally.
Once these plans were in place, my sister and brother-in-law decided they would come along. Since they have never been to Waterton National Park, I worked this into the schedule. Two weeks before we left, they baled out too. Back to the drawing board, eliminate Waterton, add a day to Banff, etc. It’s not often you get to plan six times for one trip.
THE TRIP
The trip itself went smoothly, although next year I will try to keep Joanie from drinking that second cup of coffee before we travel. We arrived at Mt. Robson almost on schedule and scooped up the last camping spot available. We then could relax and enjoy watching others drive endlessly around the campgrounds.
Mt. Robson was ideal for being re-introduced to true nature and observing wildlife up close. We got to know the habits of the mosquito very well, and I discovered that they preferred Joanie’s blood to mine, so if we sat side by side, in-coming armies would soon ignore me.
From Robson we proceeded to Whistlers campground in Jasper. This is a popular place, so we got up at 5:30AM and drove to Jasper to wait in line for a spot. We joined the line up of camping vehicles and I decided to walk to the booth to see what the situation was. It turned out that the actual line for camping spots was the row of people waiting by the booth. An American sitting in his huge motorhome in front of us also discovered this when his vehicle finally made it to the front of the line, only to discover that he had to stand in our line if he wanted a spot. He grumbled loudly about how absurd this was, and how some of us who were behind him were now ahead of him. Seems that Americans don’t like early mornings much. I felt a tinge of guilt as I watched him pass me to the back of the line, but soon felt much better when I got my spot and we could leave for breakfast. I saw him still in the line up about an hour later. By then it was warning up and I am sure he was in a much better mood.
Jasper was very warm, with temperatures in the 30’s the first four days. This seemed like an ideal time to teach our children the joys of hiking into alpine meadows, and across treeless meadows to beautiful, though bug infested moraine lakes. Just to keep them on their toes, it’s also good to remind them that they are in bear country and you can run faster than they can.
Speaking of bears, we did see two black bears and a grizzly bear the first three days of the trip and loaded up on Kodak film. I thought I would start a photo album just on bears. Things took a down-turn when the last bear we saw was lying dead in the middle of the highway. Other than two mountain goats, a small band of roving bighorn sheep and three million elk, our wildlife viewing soon came to an end.
Banff was a big disappointment. Old motels and quaint little shops have been replaced by fancy hotels and shopping malls. We like to play a little game in Banff called “find the English speaking Canadian tourist”. I won, having spotted three groups in one day. Actually, one group had a distinct British accent, but don’t tell anyone. The most common language heard, that I could recognize anyway, was German and Dutch.
Because of the fences along the highway and disease-infected elk population which has decimated the moose and beaver population, wildlife is pretty much confined to the town site. Each day, groups of them would leave our campground for town, spending the day “hanging out” on street corners, bars, etc.
The Tyrell Museum in Drumheller is world famous and a very interesting place to spend a day. I do have a bone to pick though. The hoo doos we visited were less than awesome, and were confined to a small area along the side of the highway.
Drumheller was also the first place we promised our children that we would have a pool for them to swim in. Naturally, our arrival there also coincided with the arrival of monsoon winds and rain. At one point, I must have become delirious, and when I recovered, I found myself right in the middle of the swimming pool. The water was nice, but some tough decisions had to be made. Do I get out of the pool and risk hypothermia or stay in the pool and hope that the weather changes before nightfall? I had little confidence in the weather.
The thing I hate the most is having some local say how hot it has been up until today and how nice it is to have some rain to cools things off. Not while I am here!
From Drumheller we made a pit stop at Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, near Fort McLeod. It seems a striking contrast to go from a national park where the preservation of wildlife is a priority, to a site where we celebrate the fact that a bunch of buffaloes are run over a cliff to their death. Nevertheless, it was a place worth visiting, even if it was a little morbid. Joanie even bought a T-shirt with a bunch of unsuspecting bison running along only seconds before their big heads would be pulverized just beyond the left breast.
When we arrived in Radium, we heard about how nice the weather had been and how this was the first rain in quite a while. One woman in the hot springs pool even thought the rain looked a little like fine snow flakes earlier in the day. By now we were getting used to swimming in the rain.
We arrived home on August 19. The next day we talked to family members who told us how nice the weather had been while we were gone, and that today was the first rain in 42 days! Ahhhhhh!!!!
HELPFUL TRAVEL TIPS
Finally, each trip is a learning experience, and I thought I would end by sharing a few tips I have learned…
1. Planning your trip financially is very important. Avoid using the plastic card or you may face a surcharge for the extra paper required to list all the entries on your next bill. We planned very carefully so that we would pay cash for everything and not come home to any surprises. This was so successful, that we went three full days before the first charge was made. (The charge beat me home and was on my VISA statement which arrived home before we did!)
2. If you have spent a lot of money fixing your vehicle before your trip, inevitably, some time during the first week of the trip, someone will ask you about a strange noise they hear. Ignore them. If they bring it up again, deny hearing anything. Keep this up until the noise becomes too loud or you may be sent to an ear doctor, which plays havoc with your schedule. At this point, try to hold out for another day before seeing about getting it looked at. This serves two purposes; first, if repairs cost less than a few hundred dollars, you will find yourself gladly paying it rather than grumbling about the high cost of labour. Secondly, your delay may result in the bill not showing up on your VISA statement for another month.
3. When sleeping with a whole family in a small enclosure, avoid eating beans or other toxic food. More importantly, make sure your family avoids these foods.
4. Finally, camping with your children is a great bonding experience. We spent each night playing cards. If you play games with you family, make sure you teach them a new game every two or three nights. If your children are fast learners, you may need to change this to every night or two. I learned this lesson the hard way. It took me 14 nights before I discovered that I could break my losing streak by teaching the kids a new game. Immediately I returned to my winning ways.
By Gerry Meyer
October 1997
Due to the overwhelming response I received to my article last year (1996) about our vacation, I decided to listen to both people and write about this year’s trip.
PLANNING
As an accountant, I think that one of the most important things, and often the most enjoyable aspect of a vacation trip is the planning, especially when it involves multiple destinations. In fact, my wife, Joanie says that I plan our travels right down to where we will stop for coffee and where we will stop for bathroom breaks. This of course is a gross exaggeration. I never plan for bathroom breaks! Unfortunately, they happen, and challenge a tight schedule. I find the most effective means of dealing with them is to ignore the first request to find a bathroom. If the requests continue, I wait until the offending party sits with her legs tightly crossed and her eyes begin to bug. I then immediately find a gas station 40 kilometres down the road. I find this reduces the frequency of these requests, and significantly shortens the stop, since the person now runs rather than walks to the bathroom. Of course, if I have had one too many coffees with my breakfast, I try to respond immediately to the first request for a pit stop.
As I said, planning a trip can be quite enjoyable, and this year was a bonus. Last year we decided that this year we would go to Banff and Jasper. Our friends, the Punnetts, (not their real names because I don’t wan to use the Norgrens’ actual name), asked to go along. We actually have other friends too, who we’ll call the Norgrens. They decided that they would be going there as well.
Early this year, I began planning the trip. Once this was done, the Punnetts found that they had a family wedding on the day we were to leave so they would have to meet us after a few days. This required re-working the plans, finding rendezvous places, etc.
Once the new plans were in place, the Norgrens discovered that they could not rent a trailer for the same time period and would be going on their own. No problem, just a few changes were necessary, maybe eliminate a coffee stop here or there.
As the time approached, the Punnetts decided they would not be coming either. We were now out of friends and this required major work, since the Punnetts drink a lot of water and would need to stop more frequently than I would normally.
Once these plans were in place, my sister and brother-in-law decided they would come along. Since they have never been to Waterton National Park, I worked this into the schedule. Two weeks before we left, they baled out too. Back to the drawing board, eliminate Waterton, add a day to Banff, etc. It’s not often you get to plan six times for one trip.
THE TRIP
The trip itself went smoothly, although next year I will try to keep Joanie from drinking that second cup of coffee before we travel. We arrived at Mt. Robson almost on schedule and scooped up the last camping spot available. We then could relax and enjoy watching others drive endlessly around the campgrounds.
Mt. Robson was ideal for being re-introduced to true nature and observing wildlife up close. We got to know the habits of the mosquito very well, and I discovered that they preferred Joanie’s blood to mine, so if we sat side by side, in-coming armies would soon ignore me.
From Robson we proceeded to Whistlers campground in Jasper. This is a popular place, so we got up at 5:30AM and drove to Jasper to wait in line for a spot. We joined the line up of camping vehicles and I decided to walk to the booth to see what the situation was. It turned out that the actual line for camping spots was the row of people waiting by the booth. An American sitting in his huge motorhome in front of us also discovered this when his vehicle finally made it to the front of the line, only to discover that he had to stand in our line if he wanted a spot. He grumbled loudly about how absurd this was, and how some of us who were behind him were now ahead of him. Seems that Americans don’t like early mornings much. I felt a tinge of guilt as I watched him pass me to the back of the line, but soon felt much better when I got my spot and we could leave for breakfast. I saw him still in the line up about an hour later. By then it was warning up and I am sure he was in a much better mood.
Jasper was very warm, with temperatures in the 30’s the first four days. This seemed like an ideal time to teach our children the joys of hiking into alpine meadows, and across treeless meadows to beautiful, though bug infested moraine lakes. Just to keep them on their toes, it’s also good to remind them that they are in bear country and you can run faster than they can.
Speaking of bears, we did see two black bears and a grizzly bear the first three days of the trip and loaded up on Kodak film. I thought I would start a photo album just on bears. Things took a down-turn when the last bear we saw was lying dead in the middle of the highway. Other than two mountain goats, a small band of roving bighorn sheep and three million elk, our wildlife viewing soon came to an end.
Banff was a big disappointment. Old motels and quaint little shops have been replaced by fancy hotels and shopping malls. We like to play a little game in Banff called “find the English speaking Canadian tourist”. I won, having spotted three groups in one day. Actually, one group had a distinct British accent, but don’t tell anyone. The most common language heard, that I could recognize anyway, was German and Dutch.
Because of the fences along the highway and disease-infected elk population which has decimated the moose and beaver population, wildlife is pretty much confined to the town site. Each day, groups of them would leave our campground for town, spending the day “hanging out” on street corners, bars, etc.
The Tyrell Museum in Drumheller is world famous and a very interesting place to spend a day. I do have a bone to pick though. The hoo doos we visited were less than awesome, and were confined to a small area along the side of the highway.
Drumheller was also the first place we promised our children that we would have a pool for them to swim in. Naturally, our arrival there also coincided with the arrival of monsoon winds and rain. At one point, I must have become delirious, and when I recovered, I found myself right in the middle of the swimming pool. The water was nice, but some tough decisions had to be made. Do I get out of the pool and risk hypothermia or stay in the pool and hope that the weather changes before nightfall? I had little confidence in the weather.
The thing I hate the most is having some local say how hot it has been up until today and how nice it is to have some rain to cools things off. Not while I am here!
From Drumheller we made a pit stop at Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, near Fort McLeod. It seems a striking contrast to go from a national park where the preservation of wildlife is a priority, to a site where we celebrate the fact that a bunch of buffaloes are run over a cliff to their death. Nevertheless, it was a place worth visiting, even if it was a little morbid. Joanie even bought a T-shirt with a bunch of unsuspecting bison running along only seconds before their big heads would be pulverized just beyond the left breast.
When we arrived in Radium, we heard about how nice the weather had been and how this was the first rain in quite a while. One woman in the hot springs pool even thought the rain looked a little like fine snow flakes earlier in the day. By now we were getting used to swimming in the rain.
We arrived home on August 19. The next day we talked to family members who told us how nice the weather had been while we were gone, and that today was the first rain in 42 days! Ahhhhhh!!!!
HELPFUL TRAVEL TIPS
Finally, each trip is a learning experience, and I thought I would end by sharing a few tips I have learned…
1. Planning your trip financially is very important. Avoid using the plastic card or you may face a surcharge for the extra paper required to list all the entries on your next bill. We planned very carefully so that we would pay cash for everything and not come home to any surprises. This was so successful, that we went three full days before the first charge was made. (The charge beat me home and was on my VISA statement which arrived home before we did!)
2. If you have spent a lot of money fixing your vehicle before your trip, inevitably, some time during the first week of the trip, someone will ask you about a strange noise they hear. Ignore them. If they bring it up again, deny hearing anything. Keep this up until the noise becomes too loud or you may be sent to an ear doctor, which plays havoc with your schedule. At this point, try to hold out for another day before seeing about getting it looked at. This serves two purposes; first, if repairs cost less than a few hundred dollars, you will find yourself gladly paying it rather than grumbling about the high cost of labour. Secondly, your delay may result in the bill not showing up on your VISA statement for another month.
3. When sleeping with a whole family in a small enclosure, avoid eating beans or other toxic food. More importantly, make sure your family avoids these foods.
4. Finally, camping with your children is a great bonding experience. We spent each night playing cards. If you play games with you family, make sure you teach them a new game every two or three nights. If your children are fast learners, you may need to change this to every night or two. I learned this lesson the hard way. It took me 14 nights before I discovered that I could break my losing streak by teaching the kids a new game. Immediately I returned to my winning ways.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Vacationing Tips
By Gerry Meyer
October 1996
A strange thing happened to me recently. I was watching the summer quickly slip away and recalling the “olden days”, when September meant going back to school and writing those “How I spent my Summer” stories. Senility being what it is, I felt this strange urge to document my summer exploits once again. With pen in hand, I proceeded to peck at my keyboard. (Using a pen helps in the transition from pre-historic days to the present computer age.)
This past summer I loaded up my wife and two children into our camperized van, and, together with a sister and her husband, George, began a long journey south. It was uneventful but educational. (As I recall, these stories are supposed to be boring.) Some of our experiences may help you prepare for your next trip.
Before going on a long driving trip, be sure you are well equipped. Some of the less obvious items you should take with you are a good supply of oil, since older vehicles tend to use a lot of oil when going through high mountain passes, or driving under hell-like conditions, some anti-freeze, a good window detergent, and a bicycle helmet. When purchasing anti-freeze, buy the one in the container which does not have a hole in the bottom. It can take up to two weeks to remove and dry up a litre of anti-freeze in a carpet, even in +100oF weather, but while the rest of your vehicle may overheat from the scorching sun, your carpet should maintain a nice even temperature.
When going on a long trip, the potential for vehicle problems, however, can also be very educational. For example, just past Bellingham we discovered that it is a good idea when getting an oil change to make sure that the new oil you pay for is actually put into the engine. Loud ticking noises and the rattle of an oil cap dangling from the top of the engine are two signs that this may be a problem. Fortunately, this can help solve a storage problem by relieving you of most of the oil you had stock-piled for the three week trip. On a hot day, hold the oil container close to your body when opening it. The heat will allow the oil to cascade out of the top of the open container. This will whet your appetite for when you go to see “Old Faithful”. Run your finger along the front of your shirt and see whether the oil is clean and is a good consistency for your vehicle. Avoid standing beside your spouse during this procedure.
Our trip went well after the above incident, and we traveled without problems for the next hour and a half. After passing through our first mountain pass, and finding that my visibility was being reduced by the smog, we pulled over at a view point. The smog was actually a fine film of oil covering my windshield and the front of my van. A trail of oil led us to our culprit, George’s newly oiled van. Oil was leaking from his van and spraying out of the back. Several cans of oil later, we were on our way again. It was at this point that I felt that traveling with family could cause problems, and we should keep our distance. But, how do you tell a group of bikers that the van they are closely following is giving their precious bikes and leather suites an oil bath?
When driving long distances, it is good to share the driving with your spouse from time to time. Idaho is a good place for this if your spouse only wants to do “relief” driving. It has long, straight stretches of highway and the speed limit is 75 MPH. Be sure your spouse begins driving before you see the sign which says, “Extreme high winds area”, particularly if you are driving a van with a raised roof and old shocks. Vans are good at catching the wind and taking the boredom out of trying to drive in a straight line. I could tell by my wife’s white knuckles that she was really getting into this. After a time however, she weaved to the side of the road, I changed the flat tire, and continued my driving. When changing a flat tire on a very hot day, choose a location where there is no shade. This way, the entire family can share in your misery, making for a great bonding experience.
Utah has a gas station which is very good at changing shock absorbers in a short period of time. A gas attendant immediately noticed that George’s van was not leaning properly and one look at his shocks confirmed that they were totally deceased. Fortunately, they were so excited about making a sale, they didn’t notice mine, which still had at least 100 miles of use left in them. That is until we traveled through the Navajo Indian reserve. I believe that Navajos were actually a seafaring people who got a little too close to shore. This would explain the lack of vegetation near their homes, and the waves built into their roads. While it is nice to get out of the driver’s seat once in a while, I would prefer not to do it while traveling at 80 MPH, and that bicycle helmet would have come in handy, since our van is not a convertible. Several minutes after surfing over these series of waves, the van would slowly return to its horizontal position, or semi-horizontal position, depending on the wind.
The Navajos have a great sense of humour and are agents of hope. They post highway signs which say things like “Caution, wavy road for 20 miles.” About 18 miles down the road, they post another sign which says “Caution, wavy road for the next 30 miles”. I guess they feel it is better present bad news in small doses.
If shopping is your bag, then may I recommend Vail, Colorado. It has many pricey shops, and if you look around, you can find cheap accommodation. We found a gas station which provided free camping on their lot with the purchase of a water pump. This allowed my wife to drag me through each shop several times during the extra time we had found.
Before I left, someone told me that they visited the Great Salt Lake, but couldn’t go into the water because of all the bugs along the shore. While it is true that the shoreline is black from the billions of flies that lay in ambush there and swarm anyone who should venture through them, this need not be a problem. The secret is to stand on the beach, casually surveying your surroundings. Once your spouse passes you, follow closely behind. Do not be concerned when he or she is lost from sight. Simply follow the black column in front of you. When you reach the water, step aside, allowing sufficient room for the flying black mass to make their retreat to shore. Use similar procedures to exit the water.
Yellowstone Park is a great place to visit, and is made even more enjoyable if you like burnt out forests. While in the park, try to avoid being separated from your family by a bear, particularly if your spouse has all of the camera equipment. (This is why you should always travel with other people, so they can take the photographs you would otherwise miss.)
Finally, plan your trip carefully. To keep costs down, plan your driving so that the sun only shines on the passenger side of the vehicle. This allows you to stay relatively comfortable with your window down, without resorting to using the air conditioner, which tends to use up more gas and cause the engine to run hotter than it already does. At no time, however, should you look at your spouse with a smile or make a comment on how it is not as hot out as you thought it would be. It is also advisable to keep sharp objects out of reach of the rest of your family, and if you drive past a Dairy Queen without stopping, be aware that your life may be in grave danger.
Be sure to take two sets of keys along. When the first key breaks inside the rear door lock, (I would recommend a rear door if you have a van like George’s, which can only be locked or unlocked with a key), do not clean off the oil from the rear door, which should by this time have formed a thick coating from a previous leaking incident. Ensure that everyone gets a crack at trying to pry the broken piece out of the lock, preferably during the afternoon while parked in the full sunlight. The oil coating is useful at this point, since it prevents the torrents of perspiration from penetrating each person’s clothing.
In case you were wondering, (oh yes you were!), our trip took us to Salt Lake City, the Grand Canyon, (if you go there, be sure to also see Bryce Canyon and Zion Canyon), throughout Colorado, and Yellowstone. I would rate it a complete success. Having the odd car problem also allows you to stop in places you would otherwise have missed, like Hellhole, Arizona.
As an ex-supervisor, it always amazed me how many of our employees take little or no vacation time during the summer. They don’t know what they are missing. Summer vacations are a great bonding experience, and provide many hours of good conversation with your family and friends. (“You know what that jerk did when we were in…”) So if you are one of them, hit the road and good motoring.
By Gerry Meyer
October 1996
A strange thing happened to me recently. I was watching the summer quickly slip away and recalling the “olden days”, when September meant going back to school and writing those “How I spent my Summer” stories. Senility being what it is, I felt this strange urge to document my summer exploits once again. With pen in hand, I proceeded to peck at my keyboard. (Using a pen helps in the transition from pre-historic days to the present computer age.)
This past summer I loaded up my wife and two children into our camperized van, and, together with a sister and her husband, George, began a long journey south. It was uneventful but educational. (As I recall, these stories are supposed to be boring.) Some of our experiences may help you prepare for your next trip.
Before going on a long driving trip, be sure you are well equipped. Some of the less obvious items you should take with you are a good supply of oil, since older vehicles tend to use a lot of oil when going through high mountain passes, or driving under hell-like conditions, some anti-freeze, a good window detergent, and a bicycle helmet. When purchasing anti-freeze, buy the one in the container which does not have a hole in the bottom. It can take up to two weeks to remove and dry up a litre of anti-freeze in a carpet, even in +100oF weather, but while the rest of your vehicle may overheat from the scorching sun, your carpet should maintain a nice even temperature.
When going on a long trip, the potential for vehicle problems, however, can also be very educational. For example, just past Bellingham we discovered that it is a good idea when getting an oil change to make sure that the new oil you pay for is actually put into the engine. Loud ticking noises and the rattle of an oil cap dangling from the top of the engine are two signs that this may be a problem. Fortunately, this can help solve a storage problem by relieving you of most of the oil you had stock-piled for the three week trip. On a hot day, hold the oil container close to your body when opening it. The heat will allow the oil to cascade out of the top of the open container. This will whet your appetite for when you go to see “Old Faithful”. Run your finger along the front of your shirt and see whether the oil is clean and is a good consistency for your vehicle. Avoid standing beside your spouse during this procedure.
Our trip went well after the above incident, and we traveled without problems for the next hour and a half. After passing through our first mountain pass, and finding that my visibility was being reduced by the smog, we pulled over at a view point. The smog was actually a fine film of oil covering my windshield and the front of my van. A trail of oil led us to our culprit, George’s newly oiled van. Oil was leaking from his van and spraying out of the back. Several cans of oil later, we were on our way again. It was at this point that I felt that traveling with family could cause problems, and we should keep our distance. But, how do you tell a group of bikers that the van they are closely following is giving their precious bikes and leather suites an oil bath?
When driving long distances, it is good to share the driving with your spouse from time to time. Idaho is a good place for this if your spouse only wants to do “relief” driving. It has long, straight stretches of highway and the speed limit is 75 MPH. Be sure your spouse begins driving before you see the sign which says, “Extreme high winds area”, particularly if you are driving a van with a raised roof and old shocks. Vans are good at catching the wind and taking the boredom out of trying to drive in a straight line. I could tell by my wife’s white knuckles that she was really getting into this. After a time however, she weaved to the side of the road, I changed the flat tire, and continued my driving. When changing a flat tire on a very hot day, choose a location where there is no shade. This way, the entire family can share in your misery, making for a great bonding experience.
Utah has a gas station which is very good at changing shock absorbers in a short period of time. A gas attendant immediately noticed that George’s van was not leaning properly and one look at his shocks confirmed that they were totally deceased. Fortunately, they were so excited about making a sale, they didn’t notice mine, which still had at least 100 miles of use left in them. That is until we traveled through the Navajo Indian reserve. I believe that Navajos were actually a seafaring people who got a little too close to shore. This would explain the lack of vegetation near their homes, and the waves built into their roads. While it is nice to get out of the driver’s seat once in a while, I would prefer not to do it while traveling at 80 MPH, and that bicycle helmet would have come in handy, since our van is not a convertible. Several minutes after surfing over these series of waves, the van would slowly return to its horizontal position, or semi-horizontal position, depending on the wind.
The Navajos have a great sense of humour and are agents of hope. They post highway signs which say things like “Caution, wavy road for 20 miles.” About 18 miles down the road, they post another sign which says “Caution, wavy road for the next 30 miles”. I guess they feel it is better present bad news in small doses.
If shopping is your bag, then may I recommend Vail, Colorado. It has many pricey shops, and if you look around, you can find cheap accommodation. We found a gas station which provided free camping on their lot with the purchase of a water pump. This allowed my wife to drag me through each shop several times during the extra time we had found.
Before I left, someone told me that they visited the Great Salt Lake, but couldn’t go into the water because of all the bugs along the shore. While it is true that the shoreline is black from the billions of flies that lay in ambush there and swarm anyone who should venture through them, this need not be a problem. The secret is to stand on the beach, casually surveying your surroundings. Once your spouse passes you, follow closely behind. Do not be concerned when he or she is lost from sight. Simply follow the black column in front of you. When you reach the water, step aside, allowing sufficient room for the flying black mass to make their retreat to shore. Use similar procedures to exit the water.
Yellowstone Park is a great place to visit, and is made even more enjoyable if you like burnt out forests. While in the park, try to avoid being separated from your family by a bear, particularly if your spouse has all of the camera equipment. (This is why you should always travel with other people, so they can take the photographs you would otherwise miss.)
Finally, plan your trip carefully. To keep costs down, plan your driving so that the sun only shines on the passenger side of the vehicle. This allows you to stay relatively comfortable with your window down, without resorting to using the air conditioner, which tends to use up more gas and cause the engine to run hotter than it already does. At no time, however, should you look at your spouse with a smile or make a comment on how it is not as hot out as you thought it would be. It is also advisable to keep sharp objects out of reach of the rest of your family, and if you drive past a Dairy Queen without stopping, be aware that your life may be in grave danger.
Be sure to take two sets of keys along. When the first key breaks inside the rear door lock, (I would recommend a rear door if you have a van like George’s, which can only be locked or unlocked with a key), do not clean off the oil from the rear door, which should by this time have formed a thick coating from a previous leaking incident. Ensure that everyone gets a crack at trying to pry the broken piece out of the lock, preferably during the afternoon while parked in the full sunlight. The oil coating is useful at this point, since it prevents the torrents of perspiration from penetrating each person’s clothing.
In case you were wondering, (oh yes you were!), our trip took us to Salt Lake City, the Grand Canyon, (if you go there, be sure to also see Bryce Canyon and Zion Canyon), throughout Colorado, and Yellowstone. I would rate it a complete success. Having the odd car problem also allows you to stop in places you would otherwise have missed, like Hellhole, Arizona.
As an ex-supervisor, it always amazed me how many of our employees take little or no vacation time during the summer. They don’t know what they are missing. Summer vacations are a great bonding experience, and provide many hours of good conversation with your family and friends. (“You know what that jerk did when we were in…”) So if you are one of them, hit the road and good motoring.
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